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Avatar of Alex

by Alex

Why did the mustard win the race?

11-December-2009 in Funny

Why did the mustard win the race?
Because the ketchup couldn’t catch up.
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do Mayflowers bring?
Pilgrims!
What has a mouth but never eats, a bed but never sleeps, and a bank but has no money?
A river.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
She saw a good looking rooster on the other side!
Why didn’t the shark eat the woman?
Because it was a man eating shark.
Why did the orange roll down the hill?
Because it run out of juice.
What do soccer players, basketball players and newborn babies have in common?
They dribble.
What’s black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
K9P.
How deep does a frog like the water?
Knee deep.
How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None.They prefer the dark!
How do porcupines play leapfrog?
Carefully!
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Avatar of Chris

by Chris

Why did the girl take a ladder to school?

11-December-2009 in Funny

Q: Why can’t babies get married?
A: They don’t know how to tie the knot.
Q: Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A: Because she was going to high school!
Q: What invention allows you to see through walls?
A: Windows.
Q: What do you call two bananas peels?
A: A pair of slippers.
Q: Why did the soldier salute the tiger?
A: Because the tiger had more stripes.
Q: What di the rock pool say to the other rock pool?
A: My mussles are bigger than yours!
Q: Which travels faster, cold or heat?
A: Heat, because you can catch cold.
Q: Why did Polly put the kettle on?
A: Because she had nothing else to wear.
Q: Why did the little girl take candy to sleep?
A: To have sweet dreams.
Q: What has a hundred legs but can’t walk?
A: Fifty pairs of pants.
Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them too!
Q: A woman has seven children, half of them are boys. How can this be possible?
A: All the children are boys, so half are boys and so are the other half.
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Avatar of Ali

by Ali

What is horsepower?

11-December-2009 in Funny

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain’s contention that the most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know, and then stop.
Question: What is horsepower?
Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you got hit. So, never mind.
Talc is found in rocks and on babies.
The law of gravity says, “No fair jumping without coming down.”
When they broke open molecules, they found they were stuffed with atoms. But, when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. But, when planets do it, we say they are orbiting.
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Avatar of Al

by Al

Kids In Church Funny ?

10-December-2009 in Funny

A little boy was overheard praying:”Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it.I’m having a real good time like I am.”

After the christening of his baby brother in church,Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,”That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.”

A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service,”And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”One bright little girl replied , “Because a lot of people are sleeping.”

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’”
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus!”
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Happy Halloween

30-October-2009 in Acting, Animations, Cool Finds, Dancing, Family Photo-Video, Funny, Singing

Happy Halloween
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Avatar of Mel

by Mel

What’s in the middle of the ocean?

13-September-2009 in Funny

What’s in the middle of the ocean?
Letter E!
What did the daddy volcano say to his son volcano?
“I lava you”
What goes thousands of miles and never moves?
A highway!
Teacher: What is the shape of the earth?
Sam: Square!
Teacher: Why?
Sam:Because, my father says your fame should spread to all four corners of the world!